[To the tune of "Flagpole Sitta," by Harvey Danger.]
"I'll get mid," Amumu said, and
I asked LolKing what was his elo
Perceived a good K/D ratio
The top Elise said she wouldn't feed.

Read the tip on loading screen
I'm not exactly sure where they pulled these
'Cause when I want to test my team
I plant my standard, Q in and see
Who commits, but no one ever does.

I've lost health, but I've got spells
To get me out of elo hell.

I've been Bronze a while now,
It's filled with noobs and troubles with reading
Buy Zeals and Mobi for feeding
I don't really belong with these plebs.

"Help me out with leash," I asked,
But they ignored my chat and assist pings
I tried to do it alone, see
They ganked at my Red, now I'm out EXP, God damn you.

I've lost health, but I've got spells
To get me out of elo hell
They banned him, but next match, well...
I'll pick Lee Sin and kick their smells.

I know Tribunal thinks
I raged against my team
I was just done with top
I'm sure he didn't really mind
When I said, "Mobafire
Must have pro as heck guides"
But he just whined
But he just whined
Whined.

Paranoia, paranoia
Counterjungle's coming to gank me
Drop lantern, shield and dash me
I'll hide out in the jungle with wolves, getting gold
Just ignore that Caitlyn's dead
Who's there? Cho'Gath - I think he will vore me;
It's in the lore, and one more thing:
The damaging and these hard CCs, they're killing me (whoa).

I've lost health, but I've got spells
To get me out of elo hell.
They banned him, but next match, well...
I'll pick Lee Sin and kick their smells.